you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize