Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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