Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
