Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
