if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
