i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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