have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
