sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
