DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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