So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
