Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
