My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
