he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
