I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
