The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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