Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's the barista slut.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
