That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
