David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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