Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
