Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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