Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
