Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
