the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this boner is exhausting
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
