ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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