before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just google imaged poop.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
