A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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