my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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