we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
