Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
