# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
bring money and cleavage
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
