Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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