More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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