More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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