so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
