thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
