Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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