some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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