another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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