So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
