the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
