Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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