Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
