dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
