What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
