Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
