Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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