yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
