He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
