Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
