Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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