nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
