you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
