i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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