Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
