I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
