it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
