So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
