He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize