I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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