Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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(248): View more from Michigan

about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

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(518): View more from New York

I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.

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(760): View more from California

Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!

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(802): View more from Vermont

I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."

(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't even want to know.

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